Speedpaint [drowning] - Vent. [Explanations on description]

Heya! Sorry for being inactive on posting! Stuff happened. i apologize for my inactivity not posting videos!
I will put on an explanation!

First. Don't ask why the comment section is Disabled. I feel uncomfortable with what people might say. Worrying about me. Or dropping irrelevant comments. Or dropping out off-topic or hate comments.
Second. I don't accept critique sorry. This was my first time drawing an oceanic background. So i apology if you're spotting mistakes.
Third. I MIGHT enable the comment section if i feel comfortable however.
Forth it you want the song, here
It might not sound the same because it's low pitched. And i got the audio from someone. :")

Now onto the explanations!

We moved from our old house to a new one. And stuff.. Really didn't go well much with me. :")
I might not mention anything because it's kinda personal and people might get confused and start out bullshit about it.
Alot of shit happened you can say.

Im gonna cut out here and explain what does the art mean.

The character is me. Please do not complain that it isn't wearing any clothes. It might be uncomfortable but there isn't anything explicitly about it.

The arrow presents the pain that is still stuck inside of me. Blood pouring out. However the character is still alive, even if it stuck inside the chest area. (not the inappropriate one. The heart area)

The drowning part is falling down on my own gulits and pain for what i have done to people and what i have endured.

The devil and angel part present that my angel part is the positivity and the devil is the negativity.
The angel part slowly fading away. Meaning im losing my positive behavior. For a period of time.
And growing a negative parts again for a period of time.
It include lust, anger, coldness, etc.

Drowning on my own gulits and pain for what i have done to people pastly and recently.

No matter how much i say i won't do it again. It can still happen again.
Controlling it, is indeed difficult.

I did endure a lot of stuff. Although i won't mention what happen.
Let just say that i often stress myself from over thinking or from my behavior, or other reasons. But i wont talk about serious topic because it's kinda personal to me and only my trusted friends can know about them. :")

Don't worry about me. It goes and come back. And i will endure it. And im still enduring it. Im not giving up that easily on enduring the pain.
It might hurts so much at a rate i would search for comforting. But i still endure it.

Again. I disabled the comment section because im uncomfortable for what people might say. Worrying. Or. Irrelevant stuff. Or hate stuff.

Im kinda often inactive on posting animations video because i easily lack out my motivation on making one right after making a small process. And im more into making art. However i wil try to post more. In the future. :")
If you're worried please don't be. I'm doing okay. And i will still endure it.
And if you're here to hate. Please get out i rather not listen to your hateful opinion to make matters worse for me thank you very much.

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